Holy Crap!

It's been months since I've posted... Let's see what's new... Ummm I moved out on my own, I'm next up to be promoted at work, I pay all my own bills like a big girl now :) and I have two roommates, three if you include the cat, Carlton. Life's good I saw my cousin get married and she looked beautiful. I'm hoping to go back to Reno soon so I can get to know my niece and nephew even better (technically they're my second cousins but to me, they're my niece and nephew). Other that I've been into Rock Band hardcore and I'm on hard now on the drums hopefully if I continue to play 24/7 I'll get to play on expert.

Speaking of Rock Band I'm obsessed with this guy on youtube, his screen name is Azuritereaction and this guy is sic! He plays drums on expert and makes it look so damn easy I attempt to play on expert thinking I'll be able to do it and then 10 seconds into the song I realize I'm so hopeless I might as well quit before I get booed off stage :-/ Anyhoo here's one of his videos of him playing Run to the Hills on expert and if you click on one of the annotations you can actually see him playing the song on a real drum kit

Feelin' Like Shite

It's been awhile since I've posted as always. I don't really have much to say today except that I've been thinking a lot lately about someone I used to be close with. To that person I just want to say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was a bitch and I'm sorry I cut you out of my life. I miss you and I wish that I could take it all back, it was a mistake... an error of judgement if you will... quite simply, I fucked up and I wish we could be friends again. You know who you are and if by some miracle you happen to read this... I hope you can forgive me

That's all have a good night everyone :)

El Fin de 2007

This year has been a crazy year for me. Lots of ups and downs. But I am glad that this year is ending very well for me.

Relationships - Not much has happened in that department I thought there might have been something at one point in the beginning of the year but I guess not... it's all good tho I don't think I should be with anybody right now. Maybe next year...

Friendships - Great year for friendships... I have a best friend, who I absolutely adore, she gives me great advice and she's always there for me when I need her (I love you Salty!). I got to see one of my oldest friends get married which was amazing the wedding was absolutely beautiful. My oldest friend found me on myspace, who I hadn't seen in years, and lastly I temporarily lost a friendship with someone for a little while but we made up and things are good again and I'll get to see her during the holiday. As for the rest of my girls, "K", you are the most hungry person I know literally, but I will always buy you an ice cream because I'm your bitch! "R", I'll always be your key whore and I promise to always fill out my tally cards! "J", you are awesome, you're my hooter girl Elvis and I'm your Cilla all we need is some peanut butter and 'nanna sandwiches and we can die happy! Of course "V", nobody can scare me the way you do even when you're not even trying but you're awesome and I'm glad you're back to days! I love you all to pieces even though I hardly get to see you guys (except for you "R"). Then there's the new friends, "El", "Eb", and "K" you guys are freakin awesome, El, I'm so glad you got your GED you're an edumacated woman now!

Family - Things are finally starting to get good with my family, it's been a tumultuous year 'specially with my mom but we're working on it and finally making our way to hopefully having a better relationship! My cousin got married and even though I couldn't be at the wedding I'm so stoked for him I hope he and his wife have a happy life together! I finally got to meet my handsome lil nephew and I can't wait til the day I get to meet my niece she is the cutest little thing with the fattest cheeks!

Work - I work at the greatest store ever! At what other store can I eat, play music, laugh and play guitar hero with my co-workers when we're on the clock? I have the best co-workers and I wish I could take them with me everywhere I go!

I still can't believe all that's happened this year one my the best highlights is when I went to Hobb's grove with all my girls from work and one of them lost her voice from getting the crap scared out of her! But nothing beats me getting to go see Evanescence this year, Riles I'm so glad we got to go that was so much fun 'member? So all in all this was a great year and I hope next year is even better!

Here's a pic of my little princess, my beautiful niece she's only 3 weeks old today and everytime I look at a pic of her my heart melts!

Be careful with the people you choose as friends

I have a friend who I kinda don't want to be my friend anymore. I do care about this person but lately it's gotten to the point where I don't want to be around them anymore. I used to have a crush on them when I first met them and it lasted quite awhile. Now I'm completely over them but when I spend time with them I am constantly interrupted and I never really get to talk I'm always the listener. They never give me a chance to really talk about how I'm feeling. With my best friend I can tell her anything and she always listens to me and she can tell me anything and I always listen to her. Anyhoo it used to be cute before now it's annoying as hell and I wan't to not really be friends with that person anymore.

What the hell do I do? How do I end it without making it feel like a total betrayal? I don't know hopefully it will work itself out.

On a more random note I found a video of one of my favorite singers Tracy Bonham when she was on Jay Leno, I love Tracy she's got an amazing voice and her music is so unique I love that in an artist someone who sings and plays outside of the box and isn't afraid to not do the same thing that everyone else is doing...

Happy Birthday To Me!!

I know I haven't posted in over a month but here's a new one finally on my birthday last week...

I had an awesome birthday this year... normally I don't usually celebrate and people always ask me why I don't mention my birthday, but I just feel weird making this huge announcement to the world... I really don't think it's necessary, if people ask I'll tell them but for the most part I really don't care who knows. Anyway, my birthday started off good I got a lot of birthday comments on myspace, a lot of happy birthday text messages and the best/worst text came from my good friend Jules... this girl texted me at 1:00 in the morning, I completely forgot to silence my phone, it was set at the loudest volume, and to paint the picture a little further the ringtone I had set for incoming texts was "Dig" by Incubus... now picture yourself sleeping soundly, deeply and being woken up by a loud-ass phone that's across the room and you're trying to feel around for it in the dark... yeah, it's really lovely being woken up by a heart-attack... thanks Jules... still love you tho .

Anyway, after the heart-attack subsided and my heart stopped beating out of my chest I went back to sleep and when I got up later I went shopping!! I bought myself a new outfit and tried looking for shoes but I couldn't find anything I liked .

Earlier in the week I really hadn't planned on doing anything I was used to not doing anything on my birthday but three of my friends Kort, Rosa, and Pink all told me that I had to do something so I said alrighty then let's go to dinner at the Elephant bar. When we went I got there a little after 8:30 and Rosa texted me saying she and Kort where gonna be late so of course I knew that Kort was the reason why they were late when they finally came the three of us sat down and enjoyed some good food... Jules joined us a little later and that night we got to see some old skanky dude staring at Jules which pissed me off a bit because I am protective of her and we got to see some dude fall on his ass and some slutty girl rubbing against some guy. It was quite entertaining.

Since my birthday was Saturday none of my coworkers knew it was my birthday except for my homie Ebony, my bff Crystal, and one of my managers. Well the Monday after my birthday when I went to work Ebony brought me a cake and Crystal bought ice cream and a card and they all threw me an awesome little party at work which was really cool and really sweet and I loved it and I didn't even care when Gabe spilled ice cream on me... it was actually pretty funny .

Those two days also made me realize that the people who I thought mattered to me no longer do. If they ever cared for me like I thought they once did, they would have at the very least sent me a text and not even acknowleging me on my birthday makes me realize that they don't give a crap about me. But it's all good because the people who really do matter, my parents, my cousins and my real friends were all there in one way or another and you guys have no idea how much I really appreciate you all. I love you guys and thank you so much for giving me the best birthday I had in a long time!!

Upset

I didn't post a blog yesterday because I was too upset. I've never had a good relationship with my mom. A good day is when we don't argue. Yesterday we had a clog in our pipes which turned out to be the cause of tree roots, but my mom yelled at me blaming me because I guessed there were other stuff in the pipes and she assumed it came from me because, well, it's always my fault. Normally I just let her yell and I go about my way but when I was in the garage I overheard her talking to my dad about me and I didn't catch everything she said, all I know is that she said some incredibly rude and hurtful things about me. Does she even understand that the things that come out of her mouth are hurtful? Does she get that even though I don't show my emotions it still pains me to the core? This isn't the first time either. When I was in my teens she used to call me "useless", "worthless" but still to this day the most hurtful thing she has ever called me is "stupid". By far that is the most painful thing ever said to me and it still makes me cry everytime I think about it.

Don't get me wrong my mom is not "abusive" she doesn't do this on a daily basis and I know she loves me but when she gets angry it just comes out. I dunno sometimes I feel like I should talk to her about it but for the most part I feel like it wouldn't help all that much.

Anyhoo here's my random video of the day and I included an extra since I didn't do yesterday...